Identification—”How to share an effective ‘war’ story.
The message which can interest and hold these alcoholic (addicted) people must have depth and weight (our lack of control) (AA p. xxviii).
Tell them (newcomers) enough about your drinking (using, acting-out) habits, symptoms, and experiences to encourage them to speak of themselves. (AA p. 91) Tell them how baffled you were, how you finally learned that you were sick. Give them an account of the struggles (failed strategies) you made to stop. Show them (newcomers) the mental twist (how my mind lies to me) which leads to the first drink (drug, obsessive-compulsive act) of the spree. (AA p. 92).
Listen to Chris Raymer, a recovered alcoholic addict from Texas, talk about the Big Book of A.A. definition of a “real” alcoholic addict.
Take this self-assessment test and determine what type of drinker, user, or obsessive-complusive you might be. If the question does not apply to you – leave it blank. These behavioural characteristics can be found on (page: xxviii, 20-22, 24, 30, 43, 44 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, 2001)
Men and women drink (use or act-out) essentially because they like the effect (body allergy) produced by alcohol (drugs, obsessive-compulsive acts). Is this your experience – yes-no?
The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious (yes-no?), they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false.
To them, their alcoholic (addict) life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontented (bored, depressed, anxious), unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort (body allergy) which comes at once by taking a few drinks—drinks (drugs, acts) which they see others taking (doing) with impunity.
After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do (Is this your experience – yes-no?), and the phenomenon of craving (body allergy) develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink (use or act-out) again. Is this your experience – yes-no?
This is repeated over and over. Is this your experience – yes-no?
…and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of their recovery.
Analogy: Addicts are like drowning men and women. If we don’t find some way of keeping our heads above water, we are going to drown. So we look for some kind of power to keep us afloat. We notice there are “logs” floating on the surface. These logs look like they’re capable of keeping our heads above water, but when we reach for one of these logs we find that we can only hold on for maybe a day, a week, a month, a year, maybe longer, but at some point, the logs fails us as a power and we slip and drown.
“Logs” are best described as “easier softer ways,” “middle of the road solutions,” half measures” and “human aids.”
|My Log List: STEP ONE (PART ONE) Admitting powerlessness: Check those strategies that failed to keep you permanently abstinent.||My Loser List: STEP ONE (PART TWO) Admitting life is unmanageable. Check what you’ve lost as a result of your inability to stay stopped.|
|__ will power
__ resolutions, oaths, promises, contracts
__ controlled using, drinking, thinking, behaving
__ harm reduction, substitution strategies
__ ill health, sickness
__ ominous warnings from a doctor, judge, lawyer, employer
__ change of environment, trigger lists, avoiding people, places, things
__ counselling, therapy, group therapy
__ detox, treatment centres, spas, spiritual retreats
__ war stories, fear, horror
__ relationships, friends, spouse, children, family, sex, pregnancy
__ getting a pet (dog, cat)
__ church, prayer (faith without works)
__ having a sponsor
__ going to meetings, 90 meetings in 90 days, “meeting makers make it”
__ yesterday’s spiritual experience
__ self-help books, personal development courses
__ recovery knowledge
__ “Big Book” reading / studying
__ intelligence / education
__ frothy emotional appeals, interventions, threats, ultimatums
__ positive thinking, affirmations, self-talk
__ poetry: “Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow,” “The Man In the Glass”
__ guilt, shame, remorse
__ good days/bad days
__ keeping busy
__ money / no money
__ memory strategies “remember when,” “think, think, think,” “play the tape all the way through”
__ jail, incarceration
__ good reasons to stop, sufficiently strong reasons to stop, consequences
__ moral & philosophical convictions, reputation, behavioural modification
__ suffering, humiliation, pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization
__ sobriety time
__ exercise, holistic medicine, acupuncture, hypnotism, healthy diet, vitamins, fasts, cleansings
__ home / residence
__ careers, jobs, employment
__ licence (vehicle, professional)
__ quality of life
__ mental acuity
__ respect from others
__ emotional security
__ responsibility for myself
__ responsibility to others
__ volition & agency
__ spirituality / God
__ peace of mind
If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely (Do you honestly want to stop drinking, using or acting out – yes-no? and, based on your log list, have you been able to stay stopped – yes-no?), or if when drinking (using or acting out), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (addict). (Do you exhibit little control, when drinking, using or acting out – yes-no?) If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer. (AA p. 44)
Important Note: The LOG list and the LOSER list are universal in application. ALL addicts burn the same logs and ALL addicts lose the same things pursuing their addiction pattern to the “gates of insanity or death.”